Bumper Sticker Philosophy

Add your own Favorites to the Comments…I may adopt it myself!

When primitive man screamed and beat the ground with sticks, they called it witchcraft.
When modern man does it, they call it golf.

Duct tape is like The Force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

See the Universe…Meet new beings…and Kill Them!

DRINK COFFEE…Do stupid things faster and with more energy!

Red meat is good for you.
Green and fuzzy meat is not good for you.

It’s God’s job to judge the terrorists,
It’s our job to arrange the appointment!
-USMC bumper sticker

The next time you think you’re perfect, try walking on water.

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons…
for you are Crunchy, and Taste Good with Ketchup!

I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.

There are three kinds of people:  Those who can count and those who can’t.

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

I don’t find it hard to meet expenses.  They’re everywhere.

I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.

I’m out of bed and dressed.  What more do you want?

No matter where you go, you’re there.

Eschew obfuscation.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.

If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.

Stop repeat offenders.  Don’t re-elect them!

Of Course I Don’t Look Busy. I Did It Right The First Time.

All Stressed Out And No One To Choke

How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

Don’t Upset Me! I’m Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies

I live in my own little world but it’s OK, everyone knows me here.

I don’t do drugs ’cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

Money can’t buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal”?

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

No one ever says, “It’s only a game!” when their team is winning.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.

[Some bumper stickers from military bases]

 When in Doubt, Empty The Magazine

 Marine Sniper – You can run, but you’ll just die tired!

 Machine Gunners – Accuracy By Volume

 Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything.

 U.S. Air Force – Travel Agents To Allah

 Naval Corollary: Dead Men Don’t Testify

 The Marine Corps – When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight

 Death Smiles At Everyone – Marines Smile Back

 What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? A Little Recoil

 Marines – Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775

 Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It

 Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon

 Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl

 One Shot, Twelve Kills – U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support

 My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College

 A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy – Blessed Be The Peacemakers

 If You Can Read This, Thank A Teacher.. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Veteran

Give us your tired, give us your meek, give us your coordinates, and you can speak with your God in person…

 [end military entries]

  1. 16 Feb 2010 at 10:40 PM

    “Silence is golden but duct tape is silver”

  2. jeff
    3 May 2011 at 8:42 PM

    The virgin does not hang out with the whores

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